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We RAD DADS

We RAD DADS is a show and community dedicated to improving the lives of Dads who put their families first. We are single fathers, men in blended families and dads of non-traditional families looking to learn the lessons of this difficult path from others who've journeyed this difficult path before us. Above all, we are caring and nurturing fathers who continually value and seek improvement for ourselves and other parents. We face our own struggles and seek to dominate them as a means to living a fulfilling life. Each week we find entertainment and value as we get to know a new guest, understand their situation, explore their struggles and learn how to navigate life's challenges through retrospect and experience. It is through this process we aim to find and share wisdom that you can employ in your own life. Please join us as we discover and distribute the value of first-hand experiences and insight told by those who are now living proof that you can too. We RAD DADS - Where wisdom meets entertainment.
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Now displaying: April, 2016
Apr 28, 2016

 

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"The only constant in life is change"

What does a Greek philosopher, a Renaissance Physicist and a 19th Century German philosopher have in common?  You're about to find out in today's Micro-sode.

Heraclitus
[picture: The Legacy and Wisdom of Heraclitus (and friends)]

Heraclitus draws together many of the principles I discuss here on We RAD DADS. I had always heard the above mentioned quote but didn't know where it's origin truly was. Come to find out, It was from a Greek philosopher I had not heard of named Heraclitus.

"The Riddler"

The more I dug into Heraclitus and his work, the more interested I became. I was shocked to learn that he was much more than a one hit wonder (with regard to quotes). Heraclitus, was known for shrouding his theories in obscurity. Due to this he was known as "The riddler", "The dark" or "The obscure".  This was an intentional choice because Heraclitus wanted people to put in the work in order to get any benefit. He understood the proposition of value in that; anything worth having is worth working for.  I completely agree with that notion, I hope you do as well.

Heraclitus saw that most people are just "ignorant conformists". Going along with the crowd in order to not stick out It's much easier to just follow along with the crowd, much like a flock of sheep.

"War is the father of all"

The Flux Doctrine:

The flux doctrine consists of three parts. The first of which is: "Everything is in flux". Heraclitus reasoned (accurately) that everything is constantly changing. And even the most resilient object is being changed from one moment to the next.

Second to this doctrine is: "A man's soul is fire- hot and dry". I know we have all experienced this. When you are consumed by a passion whatever it may be you literally feel hot from within. When you are in the zone one can say that you are "on fire". I'm sure you see what I'm getting at here.

Conversely, Heraclitus reasoned that: "A wet soul is worst". Comparing a wet soul to a drunken man who stumbles about. This is an interesting theory and a concept that I think I must mention at this point. The topic of alcohol consumption as a coping mechanism often comes up when talking to guests. Please ensure that you utilize due judgement when consuming anything during times of severe emotional stress.

Third and finally Heraclitus reasoned that "war is the father of all". The context of "war" is that of two opposing forces or ideas. This idea is further developed by Renaissance physicist Sir Issac Newton's 3rd law: "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Heraclitus utilized a strung bow to illustrate this point. The string and the bow are only useful together. When assembled, they appear at rest and stationary however we know the forces and resistance are present. These forces are not visible however they produce a yin-yang effect, where one relies upon the other in order to be complete.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche recognized the importance of Heraclitus' reasoning. The German philosopher understood that a great individual is constantly in conflict between the "good" and "bad" attributes within. He went on to reason that peace is only developed by the balancing of these forces NOT the removal of the "bad".

We got a little deep this week and I hope I haven't lost you. I wanted to bend your mind a little and keep you sharp. Sometimes it pays dividends to pontificate life's great questions.

Please let me know how you feel about this episode. Was it too deep or confusing? or do you like a challenge. If I were a betting man, I'd say the latter.


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Apr 25, 2016

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Larry and his boys

After his bomb Larry immediately set out to change himself and in so doing, began to help and change others. Larry is the founder of The Good Dad Project, a published author, and a skilled speaker. Through his quest to simply become a better father, he hastouched the lives of thousands.

Larry is a fantastic example of what all RAD DADS should strive to become. His strategies for remaining manly and confident whilst practicing humility blends the best and most important skills that being a dad should entail.

Larry is a married father of 4 boys and has leveraged his learning moments in order to build a life and a legacy we all should strive for. Larry speaks about being intentional and becoming the strong patriarch our families need.

Please join us for an interview that will lead you to some important questions which will help you along your journey. Positive changes start here!

2:51 - Get to know Larry Hagner

7:17 - Michael Jackson’s jacket

10:04 - Get to know http://sealfit.com

12:59 - Respond don’t react and own your mistakes

17:14 - What kind of father ARE you?

19:10 - New routine. Be there

22:36 - Dad at arm’s length

24:30 - “You’re just not showing up.”

25:08 - Rock bottom: Rebirth

28:45 - Pivot and shift accordingly

30:56 - Bounce back and take relief in action.

32:35 - I didn’t have a leg to stand on

34:35 - Dads with purpose, on purpose (How do you pronounce Meme?)

36:58 - The Dad’s Edge

41:24 - Reach out without judgement

42:31 - You are NOT alone

47:59 - Favorite age for kids. “Tumultous-ness”

50:02 - Super power - Play

51:53 - Distraction and asking for help

53:00 - Kitchen safe XL

53:26 - Parent fears

58:02 - Confidence and humility

1:00:49 - PSA

1:02:37 -  Gateway MS in St. Louis. http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Chapters/MOS.

Gateway MS Twitter

 

Contact Larry Hagner:

www.thegooddadproject.com

Dad’s Edge Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/862377280526790/

 

 


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Apr 21, 2016

 

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Teamwork and planning is essential but sometimes you have more challenges than you've accounted for.

At least you have chicken

Understand when" it's just a game" convey this to your family with your actions. Trust me they're watching and learning. Learn what you can, understand as best you can, crunch the numbers even but eventually you'll have to jump in and take action.  There are moments where lack of success is necessary to progress through life. Lack of success is sometimes exactly what you need. Fail forward.

Become comfortable with any unknown as best you can however, just know that as time passes so do your options. Now may be the best opportunity you'll have. Take decisive action and give it your all.

"I never loose. I either win or learn." - Nelson Mandella

 

Apr 18, 2016

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Ken's advice for achieving perfection

Ken Jaquith

 

"The only time you'll ever achieve perfection is when you recognize that nothing will ever be perfect."

Ken is a divorced father of 3 and takes extreme pride in being the absolute best Dad he can be.

Ken has struggled with everything from an extremely flawed legal system to being admonished as a dad. Formerly a Vice President for a huge company Ken learned firsthand that corporate success rarely translates to personal success. Ken’s path; like most of us was going from bad to worse but fortunately, he happened upon some hope.

Brooding in anger he sunk lower and lower until making the eventual observation that changed his course. Luckily, Ken was able to pull out of his crater but it’s never easy. Seeing his corporate job becoming less and less fulfilling and taking him away from his family for ever longer periods of time, Ken capitalized on a chance opportunity to be intentional about his future.

Ken is using his experiences through divorce and the legal system to help others in the same situations he found himself in. He helps men avoid common pitfalls that often befall the unsuspecting divorced Dad as they often unknowingly become victims of their own self-destructive patterns.

Please join us for this inspirational story and get connected with Ken to change your own path for the best.


 

Show notes:

6:08 - Back in the day

7:40 - Guy humor

9:35 - Journal & Legacy

12:23 - WRD Mantra

13:03 - Response vs. Reaction

15:00 - Single parent epiphany, Compassion

20:49 - Bomb Crater

24:39 - Common denominator

26:58 - Are you kidding me!?

32:28 - Epiphany by way of Dr. Steve Maraboli

36:48 - Circumstances = Success

38:18 - Rock

41:12 - Struggle to success www.thedivirceddadscoach.com

45:54  - Advice: Picture success

48:19 - substitute for curse

48:59 - Favorite Age: Meet them where they’re at.

49:27 - Best Dad Skill

54:42 - Cornerstone Trait

56:14 - Lifelong learning.

57:02 - Motivation: Erick Thomas, Daren Hardy, Bruce VanHorn

58:54 - Get up and get on with it.

59:14 - Fathers Rights

Twitter: @kenjaquith

www.thedivorceddadscoach.com


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Apr 14, 2016

 

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"Figure out who you are at your core, find your true self and then, be yourself"

The power of tribe

Nowadays I relish getting out into the community and "mixing it up" with everyday people. Unfortunately for me, often it is only in the simple trip to the store. We go to the store because we have a need for items but sometimes we find a true gem, a deal, a bonus of some kind. Today's micro-side is a story of just that. I found more than I was looking for in a simple quick trip to the store.
It's interesting to me how my small community is a powerful asset. I have better chances of running into someone I know. This could be good or bad (depending on your outlook). I was happy to run into Haley (not her real name). What happened next, neither of us expected but it was a powerful moment that I'd like to share with you.

"It always WAS better."

Your life will never revert to its once clockwork-like state. Often as I reflect on the past I have recognized that my memory only focuses on the good things, and even the bad seem much more entertaining than the were at the time. It reminds me of something a friend told me once (on an unrelated topic) he said, "It always WAS better." Meaning that your memory of events often wears rose-colored glasses. Since that is the "known" your brain accepts this as truth or a simple reference to how things are supposed to be. The unknown (The present and the future in this case) is unknown and therefore often scary inducing a fear response.

Don't let this fear dissuade you from being your authentic self. If I have any direct advice here it's: figure out who you are at your core, find your true self and then, be yourself. The more adept you are at change the better your life will be.

As with that, isn't it about time you found comfort with those who understand the true you? When you are your genuine self you will resonate with people in a whole new way. Stop dragging your baggage with you and move forward from where you are. Accept your past and move quickly on to your best future. Evaluate your needs vs. your wants. Let go of the things that you're dragging along. Quit fighting the current and just ride with the tide. Find your place. When you do, those who've traveled that path will celebrate your victory.

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Apr 11, 2016

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Jason MacKenzie 

Jason is a father of two girls. One a fledgling teenager and the other a tween. Jason has an incredible story to tell about his battles with bipolar disorder and alcoholism - trust me, it’s not what you think but it IS important to hear what he has to say.  Currently, he is a corporate employee, blogger, writer, and a speaker. Jason is living proof that you can overcome your circumstances. He found himself as an instant single Dad and left to pick up the pieces while holding a full-time corporate position and raising his then toddler daughters. Jason was able to hurdle these obstacles and turn his story into one of absolute victory when all but one had written him off.

As we all know, the amount of effort required to this is truly Herculean. Jason embodies this description in a physical manner as well. He attributes his recovery to the right type of challenges from a loving partner. Identifying a passion, a new path emerged. Jason capitalized on this newfound momentum and increasingly intriguing vocation.

Jason inspires hundreds daily, myself included. If you were looking to surround yourself with people who exemplify what it is to be a RAD DAD, Jason would be one of your first choices. I can’t say enough positive things about the man and I am confident that after you listen to this episode, neither can you. Please listen in as we deep-dive into the darkest chasms, persevere through the darkest of times and emerge a true warrior.

If Jason’s story speaks to you, please share it with the world.

4:32 - Home Sweet Home

5:59 - Comedy

6:42 - Context

9:37 - Get in shape

11:48 - Seeing crisis as opportunity

13:55 - Don’t judge, seek wisdom.

16:12 - Bombs; Bipolar Disorder and Alcohol

21:04 - The Justified Drinker

25:34 - Can’t outrun your demons

28:27 - Excuses and alcoholic crazy talk

30:42 - Being challenged in the right ways

35:17 - Cold turkey

42:26 - Lay down your shield

43:00 - Attracting genuine “you” to yourself

44:59 - Finding family through vulnerability

48:04 - My rock

54:39 - Curse

55:13 - Best Dad skill

55:56 - Blah Blah Blah

56:68 - Parent pet peeve

58:41 - What is possible?

1:00:20 - Lifelong learning

1:01:52 - Govinator

1:02:52 - Miracle morning

1:04:48 - Sick not weak Twitter: @SickNotWeak 

1:05:52 - Parting wisdom.

Jason MacKenzie is continually publishing new content and would love to have you follow him on any or all of the following platforms.

www.fromdrunktomonk.com

www.thebookofopen.com

jason@thebookofopen.com

Twitter: @LeMonkDeFunk 


 

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Keep fighting the good fight.

Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

 

Apr 7, 2016

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Have you ever happened upon someone during their weakest moment and helped them through it? Has anyone seen you during a vulnerable moment? Did they lend a hand or turn away?

Who is Sy Sperling and what does he have to do with helping?

We would all like to be solid rocks in the river however, we aren’t. We are loose stones tumbling with the current.

Are you being true to yourself? Is your persona true to others? When given the opportunity would you do the right thing for the right reasons no matter what others think? The point is, start being

There's an intrinsic value in helping

who you truly are. Accept your faults and embrace your weaknesses. The longer you fight the flow; and who you truly are, the longer you deprive those who matter most from the amazing person you are and everything you have to offer. When you are a fulfilled, content, confident and happy with who you are on the inside; only then will you be that person on the outside.

Fighting the current takes enormous energy and you’re already running low. Let go, flow with it. You will find that the river will force you through rapids and powerful churning currents- keep flowing. You’ll eventually come to rest in a peaceful lake or relaxing pool amongst other stones who belong there.

That’s who I want to be because I know that I am truly at my best and most productive when in my own element. It is through exercising this mindset shift we will continue to inch our way toward that long distance goal- our perfect self.

Sy Sperling (LINK) wasn’t perfect and the moment he admitted this to himself and announced it to the world he found his true calling because people identified with him. THAT is the magic of being your true you.


 

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Keep fighting the good fight.

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Apr 4, 2016

 

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Finding grace with Steve Austin

 

Steve Austin

 

Steve is a true testament to overcoming personal devastation. Although you would never know it by the charisma in his voice, Steve is a true survivor and has persevered through multiple challenges starting at just 4 years old. Growing up in the Birmingham Alabama area Steve brings a unique experience of what life in

the “bible belt” has to offer. As a writer, speaker, author and blogger; Steve has been published by names like Huffington Post and the Good Dad Project. Steve is a survivor of an attempted suicide and now is a voice for those cumulative lessons learned from a life of shame, denial, depression and post traumatic stress. Steve speaks of the harsh road that recovery has been, his experiences in therapy and the positive impact it has made in his life. Steve attributes his survival, sanity and recovery to the loving support from his wife Lindsey. Steve points out the crucial importance of surrounding yourself with only the right type of people and dolls out extremely important advice for those seeking to reach out for help. In this episode we discuss very controversial topics however it is still PG rated. Steve is finding that grace is messy and unique to those who experience it. Keep an open mind as we talk about how grace can be found both outside and inside a religion. Don’t let your aversion to these topics keep you from hearing the valuable nuggets we have to offer you. Please join us for this amazing conversation.

6:37 - Signing telephone calls

9:40 - Wash your hands Aunt B.

11:05 - Not funny/Merthiolate

14:47 - 90% reacting to 3 things

16:46 - Grace is (too) messy/ uncomfortable truths

19:36 - Difficult conversation no-one is having courageworks.com

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

21:39 - “Me too”

24:04 - Bomb within a Bomb

25:08 - Lay it on us man

32:36 - “… and that’s when I woke up in the hospital.”

34:55 - Identity: not what we do but who we are

37:15 - Connecting the dots to recovery

39:39 - Words of advice

40:38 - A new path

41:31 - “You’re dying doofus!”

45:59 - Community

46:58 - “I don’t belong in here with all these crazy people!”

52:32 - Judgement in a place where it doesn’t happen

55:44 - “I hardly ever think about it”

59:33 - Things remembered when I’m taking my last breath

1:01:41 - Cussin’ Christian

1:02:10 - Right now

1:04:15 - Cornerstone

1:06:18 - Teleportal advice

1:08:06 - Love thy neighbor

1:10:06 - The Wellhouse. the-wellhouse.org

1:09:20 - iamsteveaustin.com. @iamsteveaustin. facebook.com/graceismessy


Get social with other RAD DADS!

Join our Facebook Group!
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Check out our Instagram page!
Take a look at our Pinterest Boards!
Check out our YouTube Channel!

Keep fighting the good fight.

Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

 

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